


Bind

by theblackempress



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asphyxiation, Canonical Character Death, Choking, FTM Dave, Graphic Description, M/M, Short, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3223118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblackempress/pseuds/theblackempress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John's gift to Dave leads to drastic consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bind

You lie awake in your room. It's three in the morning, and you've been up since midnight yesterday but you can't sleep for your fucking life.

You can't think properly. You try doing breathing exercises that your therapist told you about but they don't fucking work.

You decide you should get yourself useful. You sit up and eye the package John sent you. It's a chest binder. You've expressed several times that Bro won't let you buy one, and so John generously got one for you. It was expensive, but hopefully it's worth it. You haven't tried it on yet. Maybe if you do, it'll ease your anxiety.

You turn on the light and open the package carefully. It's a piece of mesh-looking fabric, coloured black and cut like a tank top so as not to arouse suspicion from Bro when washing it. You pull off your shirt and bra and take the binder in your hands.

This isn't at all how you expected it to feel. You thought it'd be a woven fabric but whatever. You slip it over your head. It isn't very stretchy, but you shrug it off as the point of the article is to be tight, but the fact that there is no leeway for you is frightening. You slip one arm through the armhole, squishing the other arm to your head.

It's too damn tight. It's too fucking tight and you can't fucking breathe, but you persist. This binder will ease your dysphoria. You  _need_ it.

You pull on the fabric but it's too fucking tight and oh God you got it caught on one arm and it's trapping your arm to your side and the other one is sticking out of the binder like a limp, half-cooked noodle. You begin to hyperventilate, feeling your nerves and veins compress. It's too fucking tight it's too fucking tight but you need to get it on. You wriggle your arm up but it's too fucking tight and it traps you and you can't move your arms.

You thrash about, trying to pull the fabric off of you. Where's a knife? Where's a fucking knife or scissors or something so you can cut this off?!

Your vision begins fading and oh God you need to get this thing off you right now and you can't breathe and you need it off you can't have this it's too small it's too small and you can't fucking breathe.

You pull one of your arms down, causing your other arm to pull the fabric. It snags against your throat, still trapping your arm, neck, and upper chest. You can barely breathe but you can't scream for help because you'll wake Bro up and he'll yell and you can't let that happen but you need to get this off and you can't breathe and you're sobbing as you tug and pull and thrash but it only gets tighter and you can't see anymore and you can't hear your own screams and everything goes black all because you couldn't get the damn thing off and now it's twisted around your neck and pulled by your other arm and there's no way you can make it out of here now because you're already dead.

**Author's Note:**

> this just happened to me, minus the dying an im crying relly hard bc i cant focus


End file.
